The Say What series was previously limited to Cyanisms. Lately, someone else has become pretty vocal. And just as funny. So now I present, Atticusisms in addition to Cyanisms. Enjoy!
Scene: Some people rang our door bell.
Cyan: What did they want?
Allan: They wanted to teach us about God.
Cyan: We already know about God.
Me: Do you want me to help you open it?
Atticus: I can open it myself.
Me: I guess your a big boy now, you don’t need your mama.
Atticus: I need my sandwich.
Scene: Allan telling Cyan about how Grandpa Danny and his parents used to kill sheep.
Cyan: Why do you kill animals?
Allan: So we can eat them.
Cyan: You don’t need to kill animals, you can just buy it at the store. Nana would never never never never ever eat their chickens, because they want eggs.
Scene: While watching Remember the Time video.
Atticus: That’s not a man, that’s a girl.
Me: That’s Michael Jackson, he’s a man.
Atticus: That’s not a man, that’s a lady!
Cyan on us leaving her scooter on the floor: If you throw it on the floor, it will get dirty, I don’t like dirty.
Cyan: A roommate is like a boyfriend.
Scene: Watching a video on evolution.
Cyan: There’s daddy losing his hair (points to homo erectus).
Me: I’m 34 going on 35. My birthday is next month then I’ll be old.
Cyan: So old your hair turns white?
Cyan: Maybe you should keep it the same color.
Cyan: When you die I will use your toothbrush because when you die people use your things. When I die someone will use my toothbrush.
Me: We can’t be late.
Cyan: Just tell your boss the truth, she’ll understand.
Me: Do you need my help?
Atticus: No I can. I a grown up.
Atticus: I iron man.
I couldn’t have written this a few months ago. But now, as a seasoned (one to be exact) veteran, I’m an expert. Soccer Mom that is. With that, I share my vast wisdom with you.
Top Ten Things I Learned as a Soccer Mom
10) The weather might be good all day, except for the hour you need it to be. In our case, it was three Saturdays in a row. and the end of season cookout.
9) A kid that seems like a natural athlete at home, may HATE the team scene. Despite what we thought was a passionate player at home, Atticus was not a fan on the field.
8) It takes a village. We are so blessed/lucky/grateful/happy to have such helpful/loving/supportive grandparents who live nearby.
7) Putting a two year old in an activity may have been a bad idea. Understatement of the year.
6) Cyan makes up excellent cheers. She’s not the fastest runner, but she makes the goalie box a party and doesn’t hesitate to tell everyone the rules. That’s my girl!
5) Holding your child while running drills is some form of torture. Physically and spiritually.
4) Thank goodness for volunteer coaches. Their energy, time, patience and enthusiasm is appreciated. Especially with the 2-4 year olds.
3) Atticus willingly participated when it was time to play with the parachute and eat snacks. Thus leading me to believe that perhaps he’d be better off in competitive eating.
2) Soccer is not the time to figure out you’re a Pinterest failure. Luckily for me, the practice where I signed up for snack was cancelled due to weather so I failed privately. Until now.
1) There were some tears and meltdowns (not just ours). But there was also lots of joy.
These guys loved their trophies. And yes everyone got one along with a shirt. All for twenty bucks. Despite some of the cons of sports, this program was everything you’d want for the first go round. Low key, inexpensive, and most of all, fun. Cyan loved it and wants to come back next season and try some other things along the way. Atticus said he liked it every week. Until we got there and he whined and clung to us. We’ll wait a couple years before we venture into an activity for him. But he sure loves his trophy. Perhaps he would have liked soccer more if everyone was wearing a diaper and cowboy boots.